Hmmm cant find the right words to start this journal, never knew how to start any journal of mine really, well i lost many people in my life, people that somehow affected my life in many ways good, bad and all kinda ways. whatever that is.


Today i heard the news of a very very close & special person in my life; that there is a slight chance of me loosing her, the Doctors are still doin the tests and everything else, but i cant get over the idea that they saw something and thats what made them double the tests or whatever they call it. I cant accept the idea of me losing anyone else specially this person who was always there for me when i needed her, was always there when i needed a shoulder, was always there when i needed someone to listen to me, was always there in every single minute of my life and i cant see my life without her in it.

i'm counting the seconds until Wednesday to know the results and i'm praying day & night that she comes out of this safe & sound and that the doctors are all wrong. i'm praying that i see her healthy, strong as always and most of all see that smile on her face even when she knows now that she might have some serious disease.

They call it Cancer and i just hope i hope this is all just a bad dream, i need to wake up and the doctors are the only ones who can wake me up.

I dont need ur comments, i dont need ur pity or sorry comments. all i need is a prayer to keep her safe for me and plz keep it to ur self.

P.S: I NEVER said if she was a friend! but thx all anyway